Is That What It Is?

"If This Isn't Love" by Jennifer Hudson

...L-O-V-E...the kind of love that fits right like a glove...

I want to go natural. I have been thinking about it for a while because I want dreadlocks so bad, partly because I bought into this "You look like Lauryn Hill" business I hear from many people.

I don't really look like her at all. I'm not quite as striking as she is. I think it's just that I am dark skinned and I have a pretty face and somewhere in Black people's minds, dark skinned girls aren't pretty. Somehow, I break some rule. "You're so pretty for a dark skinned girl." Wtf? I haven't heard that in a long time but I am prepared for when I do again. This another blog entry entirely.

I recently learned that Michelle Obama's hair is natural or at least the person that does her hair does not use any chemicals.

I didn't want to go natural because I wasn't mature enough but I did like to think about it. I like the feel of having a perm with hair that bounces and is lustrous. But now, I just feel like a sell out. Why is this hair so amazing to me? I know why. We have integrated a White standard of beauty into Black culture. It isn't totally bad. I think if you want to perm your hair and it's easier for you, then you're not any less Black and I wouldn't call you a sell out.

But for some, at some point, you might grow to consider why it is we relax, straighten, press, and all of that to change our hair. What is wrong with the way my hair is naturally? As long as I take care of it, apply moisturizing products, don't get it wet too often, wash it, condition it, don't expose it to too much heat and all the good rules we follow when my hair is permed, it should be fine right?

So I am going to do it. The perm I have in my heair right now is four weeks old and the poof has already started to appear. I washed my hair on Sunday, blowdried it, and greased it. I combed it all back and look at it. The curl in my roots is a kind of beautiful. My hair is beautiful. I didn't straighten it for a few days. I just wore it up and loved it.

I shall start with braids and just have different styles of braids in my hair until the perm is old news. I am a Black woman you know?