Making My Own Sandwiches

"Ego" by Beyonce

...it's too big / it's too wide / it's too strong / it won't fit / it's too much / it's too tough...

Good afternoon Saints and Aints!

I know it has been so long since I made time to write.  As you are aware, magicwoman, I have been working pretty much full time and going to school full time.  I have been partying too much with new friends and loving on old ones.

So much has changed and I don't even really know where to start.  I can't remember what I have written here...

Well you know I have been natural since December 18, 20009.  That was such a process.  I remember I didn't leave the house for a couple days, preoccupied with how I looked and maybe I made the wrong decision and general "What the hell?" type of thoughts.

I have come a long way since then and so has my hair!  It has grown so much, so fast, faster than any perm or braids has ever done for my hair.  It was about an inch long when I cut it in December.  It is a strong 4 inches long now.  And Lord knows my hair don't grow like that.  When I had a perm, I had the baddest bob on deck, but it was never more than a bob (hmmm wonder why?).

So when I went natural, I went natural right?  By that I mean, I only put natural products in my hair.  I am careful to avoid laboratory concocted ingredients and stick with brands I know to use only naturally occurring products, mixed together and isolated.

And then I kept reading about taking care of natural hair and how it is very oxymoronic to put all this wonder expensive product in my hair and eat, drink, and cosmeticize as unhealthily as possible.

So I dropped all the mess.  I gave up Palmer's Cocoa Butter and if you know me, I have sworn by that bottle for the last 10 years.  As soon as I got sense of enough to not allow my parents to smear Vaseline on me, it was me and Palmer's, my ride or die.  I even put the White kids at Collegiate on because I was constantly putting it on.

I use raw African shea butter for pretty much everything.  I use it as lotion for my body, conditioner for my hair, oil for my scalp, chapstick for my lips, moisturizer for my face, light foundation for my face before make-up, medicine for wounds, cuts, scrapes, and the ilk, and I recommend/give some to anyone else who asks me "What should I...?" and I always interrupt, "Shea butter.  Just use shea butter."

My roommates got these detestable piercings in their ears and I make them do a warm saltwater rinse and put some shea butter on it.  Say it ain't workin...cuz it is.

And then I continue to OD.  I use natural laundry detergent, deodorant (not anti-perspirant because they block your pores and for real, you ain't supposed to smell like cucumber and melons all the damn time), natural toothpaste, natural floss, natural Black African Soap (or Mango Shea Butter Soap) and of course everything for my hair is natural.  At least once a week I put extra virgin olive oil in my hair to protect the tips.  My hair and skin and teeth are amazing.  My head my look like brillo pad, but it's the softest thing up against your skin (natchel curly hairs...please don't touch! bahahahahaa!  *inner thought: i wonder if anyone gets that*).

And then food:  I went vegetarian/vegan.  Well, I am trying to go vegan but I love cheese!  I gave up milk cold turkey (and this is one African that loves milk.  my parents used to buy 2 gallons of milk when i lived at home because i needed a gallon all to myself...it was so real).  But there is no need to drink milk after your mother's milk.  No other animal drink the milk of another animal.

I limit how many times a week I can have cheese and have "fast weeks" in which I am a strict vegan.  For real, it isn't that hard because I wasn't raised on a serious meat diet.  I never liked beef for some reason.  My family is Muslim so I had never seen pork until I went to my American friends houses.  Chicken and seafood is basically all I would eat and I much preferred my Mommy's fried fish over chicken so I wasn't losing much when I went vegetarian.

I cheat on my veganism though.  I eat ALL the cake and cookies.  Well not really because I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but for the 2 days of the month that I eat sweets, I don't care what is in it.  I am however very strict about keeping meat and milk out of my diet.

It's a wonderful life.  It is such a wonderful life.  I have come through so much and been blessed with so much.

I am a good, conscious person.  I know to much.  I have seen too much.  I have too much fight in me.  I want to fight the good fights.  I want to be a minimalist.  I want to fight the nasty capitalism that has destroyed many lives.

Those are the kind of people who get killed.  I don't have much time here so I changed my life to be pure of body and spirit to fight the good fight and be buried a skinny, pretty warrior woman.