Streetlights...Glowing, Like Moments in Front of Me

"Blame It On Me" by Chrisette Michele

Sometimes you can work it out…sometimes you can’t
Sometimes you’re forced to watch everything fall apart…its out of your hands

Sometimes leaving is easy…sometimes it ain’t
Sometimes it hurts to know the lovin’ you had is slowly fading away

You can say whatever you like
As long as we just say goodbye

(chorus)
Blame it on me
Say it’s my fault
Say that I left you outside in the cold with a broken heart

I really don’t care…I ain’t cryin’ no more
Say I’m a liar, a cheater, say anything that you want
As long as it’s over

I ain’t a quitter…I just ain’t the type

I tried to see it through
I tried to make it to the finishing line

Oohh you thought it was meant to be
I admit…so did I

Every once in a while you think you figured it out...
Sometimes you’re not right

You can say what ever you like
As long as we just say good bye

Blame it on me
Say it’s my fault
Say that I left you outside in the cold with a broken heart

I really don’t care…I ain’t cryin’ no more
Say I’m a liar, a cheater, say anything that you want
As long as it’s over

Yes I love you but I really gotta lose you… freedom's where I want to be
Yes I’ll probably always love you but I’m over…I gotta do this for me

(repeat chorus twice)

Cause its over

I completely overlooked this song when her album came out.  I cannot remember why but I never even listened to it in its entirety.

On the way back from Charlottesville today (to see my baby cross Delta!!), Gwenny played this song for me and I almost cried.  This song says all that I wish I had said when I was breaking up.

I fought so hard to defend my assassinated character, to salvage my attacked ego, to protect my defiled person.

Listening to this song, I realize that I didn't have to do any of those things.  He was going to think of me just what he wanted to regardless of the defenses I employed for myself.  His anger had to little to do with the accurate assessment of me.

I spent all this time defending myself when I just should have said goodbye.  Why was I defending myself to someone who consistently assassinated my character and talked to me as if he hated me?  Who knows?

But Chrisette sings my experience VERBATIM!!  If I could go back in time when all the mess started, I would literally sing this song to him because my words did horribly in communicating anything.

I'm still mad I had to go through all of that.  I'm still mad I had to deal with him.  I'm still frustrated.

But it doesn't matter because it is over.