Happy New You Eve

"My Father's Eyes" by Eric Clapton

...sailing down behind the sun / waiting for my prince to come / praying for the healing rain / to restore my soul again...

Happy New Year All.  Praise God I am able to see another one.  Praise God that you are able to see another one.

There is a kind of morbid song we Sierra Leoneans sing for the new year.  Hapi Nu Yia! Wi nor die oh!

It literally translates to "Happy New Year! We didn't die!"  It sounds morbid to us living in an industrialized nation where death is far, far less frequent of a devastation.  Death is a familiar visitor back home.  I sing the song too because although I am less likely to die, in these youthful years, living in this splendid country, I realize youth and location do not make you immune to death.  I could be dead.

I should be dead.  God knows what I have been through, what I have put myself through, what has been committed against me...it is an act of God alone that I am here still.

On top of that, I am here and I have changed.  I cannot adequately explained to you in what manner I have changed for I haven't the language.  And some of the change is so pure, so beautiful that it lives above linguistics.  You just gotta know and watch me boo.

And I am excited.  I never imagined this one year ago, two years ago, three years ago.  I didn't imagine anything back then.  I was just trying to get through the day.  Planning the next day was beyond me.

This year is truly the beginning of the rest of my  life.  I will finish the coursework for my first degree.  I will secure a full time job (with benefits...please shape up economy).  I will learn many things I have been interested in but lacked the passion to pursue.  I will be traveling to Sierra Leone, meeting my chosen husband and his family, and if all goes well, I'll be engaged by the end of the year.

It is strange because at a point, I refused to consider marrying him.  It felt strange to me that I should marry this man chosen by this woman I am constantly at odds with.  But as my relationship with my Mommy has improved, I have learned more about her, about my family, about my culture, and I have fallen in love all over again.  It became appropriate to me to follow our tradition (tempered and guided by my autonomy) and consider this marriage.  From what I have heard, he is well liked by my family and those who know me best say it is a good matching (thanks Mommy).

I am most happy to have made it this far not just to accomplish things, but to have figured out what I want to accomplish.

A few goals for the new year:

1.  Graduate
2.  Re-learn to sew/sell my sewn work
3.  Find a place I can play indoor tennis/racquetball downtown
4.  Learn to make natural hair products/sell natural hair products
5.  Get muscular
6.  Become officially engaged/get a ring (no diamond--we don't do that)
7.  Begin investing (learn the lingo too)
8.  Become a citizen of the USA!!!
9.  Learn to braid hair and other natural hair care techniques
10.  Love on my Mommy
11.  Learn from my ancestors
12.  Get Sisterlocks (and maybe pay the guap to learn to install them)
13.  Move to Washington DC
14.  Wipe out my debt (and I have decided the parents are going to help with that-->restitution!)
15.  Improve my Themne when I go to Sierra Leone!! <--this is the culminating point of my life