Shake It Fast

In middle school my family and I lived in an apartment complex called London Towne in Henrico County.  It was the first place we lived in when we first moved to Richmond, before my parents bought our beautiful house in Glen Allen.  I remember I loved it so much because I was coming into my own as a chef and it had a gas stove.  Ain't nothing like cooking on a gas stove.

Back then, Lima was about 7 or 8 years old.  I remember that he used to talk to himself incessantly and none of us understood what he was saying but it was incredibly entertaining to him and us.

So one day, while playing outside with him and my other brother Sheikh, I decided to listen to one of his infamous conversations with himself.

Being that he has Autism, his language is severely limited.  On top of that, his pronunciation and annunciation are almost completely absent.  I listened intently for a whole minute and could make nothing of what he was saying.

Then I heard it.  I heard what my baby was saying to himself.

He wasn't actually saying anything.  He was singing.  He was singing the song "Shake It Fast" by Mystikal with incredible accuracy.  I busted out into hysterical laughter but it didn't faze him.  It didn't stop his song.  He sang it in it's entirety, sitting on the steps of our apartment, freshly barbed head down in lucid concentration on the string in his hands.

After that I lived to hear him sing.  I discovered that he had quite the repertoire of music in his head.  He would sing a song from beginning to end in a silent room with nothing to prompt him.  He does it to this day.

I've always considered Lima to be my first child.  He is my youngest brother but I always attended to him like he was the child God gave me.  I love him so much.  I love him because he is my brother.  I love him because he's so vulnerable.  I love him because he is so funny and he has no idea he is.

He really is a gift.  If it weren't for him, our family would have fallen asunder so long ago.  But for his sake, for his love, we endure: all the fighting, all the disrespect, all the pain because he is our family's higher calling.

And it hurts my heart to not see him, to not hug him, to not watch him run from my kisses (because he doesn't like kisses), to not cook for him, to not yell at him to take a shower, to not cut his hair, to not do his nails, to not make necklaces with him...all because my parents and I can't get over ourselves.

One day Lima, we're going to get it right.  We're going to function and have peace just for you my pretty baby boy.

I do love you.  I love you I do.